She brushed her hair back
In that moment
She was vulnerable
For just that instant
And my heart exploded
With grief

I would've given
Everything
For an I love you
Just one more

The drink spilled
She startled awake
With one deep breathe
The trigger was pulled

Crossing the Vernon River
Sunglasses on
Cold War Kids on the radio
Memories of Molly
Rattling around my head
And for just a moment
Life was ok

I'm waiting
Here in the dark
Waiting for the footfall
Crouched in the night
Is the end
Ready to spring
I can feel the tension build
I can hear
The inevitable sigh

It's getting so close
I'm so very close...

What business do I have
With any complaint
Who should worry
About my viewpoint
The machine doesn't care
What it's electrons know
And the body doesn't care
What each cell feels
We each are expendable
Disposable parts
Cells to sloughed
Electrons to be exchanged
Just a tiny part of some whole
We'll never know

When the plug is pulled
On your life
You know
You sense
The turbulence
All around
And then
Life seems to calm
Until that day you look up
And realize
You've just
Been going in circles
Round and round
And every day
Just a little closer
To the end

If you've a warning
Please make it clear
Not shrouded in mystery
That women hold dear
You said we were through
You'd already left my heart
You had no mercy
As you tore us apart
Cowardess has a name
I saw it written in your eyes
Disdain's secret language
Translated by your lies
The woman I thought I loved
I fought for what you wanted
The woman who never loved
Has left me haunted

Crowned in leather
Bound in chains
She picked over
My remains

Following after
A Holy Host
Desperate to silence
Her terrible ghost

I wish I could see
That look
In my son's eyes again
I wish I could feel
Her hair
Brush my face again
I wish I could be
The man
I was meant to be
Adoration, tender hope
The stream bed
Has gone dry
Nothing more
Under the bridge
And I
I Wanted to be
The man he thought I was

The burning embers of anger
The black mold of despair
The dry rot of loneliness
This house is coming down

The landlord seems distant

See the dust and cobwebs
Of empty stagnation
See the crumbling facade
Of pointless neglect
This house is coming down

Abandoned property

See the clapboard windows
Of blind conceit
See the overgrown weeds
Of pointless life
This house has fallen down

Ive got to distract
Counteract
Retract
Cuz my mind is going back

Ive got to stop the slide
Egocide
Can't abide
No place to hide

Ive got to cover my face
Displace
Disgrace
Get outta this place

Ive got to end it all
Ignore the call
Free fall
Threadbare pall

Screamin
Dont make it true
Cryin
Dont make it better
Laughin
Dont make it funny
And bein' you
Dont make you a princess

Fightin
Dont bring on the truth
Whistlin
Dont make the monsters go away
Prayin
Dont bring no answers
And bein you
Dont put you in charge

I dont mess around
With what never did work
Thats why
I aint messin with you

I feel...
Every jackhamner blow
To the concrete
To the sanity I profess
To the illogic of me

I feel...
Every acidic comment
Dissolving my resolve
Wearing away the foundation
Weakening the walls between

I feel...
Every tightening screw
Binding me
Limiting me
Wedding my freedom to rust

There she stood
In the middle of the square
Wearing nothing
But her indignity
She screamed
Her torment
Hawking her pain
For anyone
Who paid her
Any attention

I dream
Sniper scopes
And silencers
Razor sharp steel
And chloroform
Acid baths
Hydrochloric and hydrofloric
I dream
In impotence
And rage

What do you do
When all you have is nothing
But loneliness
Where do you go
When you have
No direction
How should I spend
My empty days
When each is the last
Is this all there is
I should know better
But cycles within cycles
Seems like just so much
Pointless spinning
While we pretend
We're actually going
Anywhere but here

Gluttony's Despair

The mirror
It shows what's true
I can't hide and lie
From what I see
Into the confessional I slip
To whisper
To lay bare my sin

The mirror, it shows
My cravings, my fears
I so want to feel
To know loves touch
The relief
The calm
Of human flesh

The mirror, it shows
My avarice, my greed
My sweet little sweet
My whore
Without name

The mirror, my confessor
I've seen my sin

That beautiful rose
It once adorned
Our breakfast table
Dried, it brought happy tears
Memories in a scrapbook
Now lays forgotten
Along with the memories
On the rubbish heap
Of our lives
The whirlwind desires
Of a cheating heart
Swept through our lives
Left us all asking why
Praying for a dawn
The never touches
Everyone's life

And the rose
That everlasting symbol
Of our love
Proved to be
Just as ephemeral
As your faith
And we two
Just as broken
Blown in the wind
And forgotten

I wish I could see
That look
In my son's eyes again
I wish I could feel
Her hair
Brush my face again
I wish I could be
The man
I was meant to be
Adoration, tender hope
The stream bed
Has gone dry
Nothing more
Under the bridge
And I
I Wanted to be
The man he thought I was