Day 1

The future is as dark
As my heart feels
Hope has no chance
In a home with no romance

Day 2

Fear is my life
And fear surrounds me
Afraid is how I live
And afraid is how I'll die

Day 4

Unlucky in love
Unlucky in life
But I've met a new mistress
And her name is strife

Day 7

You think she's got a nice body
But you really love her eyes
You have absolutely no chance
But you keep telling yourself these lies

Day 12

Icarus fell hard to the Earth
And finally he realized
The mistake he'd made
.....

You should've left me long ago
Worthless troglodyte that I am
Fuck up, foul up, selfish sot
You shoulda dumped long ago

You were right to leave me
Dysthymic worm that I am
Lazy, crazy, foolish child
You were right to can my sorry ass

You made one mistake
My lovely, bright young girl
Wholesome, quick, beautiful soul
You made but one mistake....

You said yes.

I tied myself to the whipping post
I've knotted the cat tails
Waiting now for the ripping bite
I so deserve

I've dug the pit as deep as I can
I've planted the sharpened stakes
Teetering on the edge for the fall
I so richly deserve

I've sharpened the skimming knives
I've laid down at your table
Waiting for the reckless cuts
I so very much deserve

I claimed you as my stronghold
I said you were my salvation
(And you are)
But I've run so far
I feel the lonliness
I alone deserve.

Why am I such a fuck up
Why am I such a fool
Why have I wasted my life
Worrying about you

Caught up in every whim
Every grimace and groan
I've taken all you have given
All the derision you have sown

You told me you loved me
You told me you cared
You told me so many lies
I should've been spared

Am I through with you yet
Have I learned to let go
Sadly, I cannot
Pathetically, I still love you so

I'm glad I don't own a gun
'Cause I'd dirty it straight away
Shiny bullets of copper and brass
I'd color them with red and grey
With flecks of white for an extra kick
Well, at least one

A smoky haze to filter the light
Of the eyes once bright
Now fading into that night

I'd laugh and I'd scream
With unintentional rhymes
Stomping my feet
To keep the time

I'd lay there the victim
Or walk out the fool
I'll let you decide
Which one is who.

My heart aches
Purple and blue
The fading colors
Of a love gone bad.

I wish, I wish
upon a falling star
crashed to Earth
to dream no more.

I feel you touch my eyes
Razorblade slings to catch my cries
You reach in, twist and pull
A murderous heart
I've had my fill
Still I return

I can feel you touch my thigh
Full if hope I catch your breath
You reach up, slice and sever
A guilty thought
I've had my fill
And I return still

The light fades
It hurts my eyes
I hear the silent spark
And I begin to scream
Death comes too soon, too soon
Afraid now, I wait
I feel your wandering gaze
I taste your spoiled fidelity
And you begin to cry
Death comes invited, an honored guest
The light fades
With our love
My heart collapses
With every lie, with the truth
Death comes too slowly, too slowly

welcome my friends
my schemers and dreamers
who have you brought
my whiners and diners
what have you wrought
my suers and doers

with a quick flick of the wrist
a gentle tightening of the finger
and a singular thrust of the blade

Come home lost ones
you hopers and dopers
settle your debts
you sowers and owers
relinquish your fears
you sneaks and freaks

with a quick glance at the son
a gentle tightening of the heart
and a singular act of faith

what would you do, if i told you
what i really thought?
would you run?
would you lock me away?
what would you do, if i did to you
what i really wanted?
would you cry?
would you scream?
what would you do, if i acted toward you
what i saw you do?
would you cry foul?
would you see the truth?
what would you do, if i showed you
what you really are?
would you deny?
would you end it all?

tell me, just what you would do?

I can't sleep tonight
it's too quiet in here
all I'm left with
are the sounds in my head

The sound of my footsteps
down an empty hall
The sound of my breathing
in an empty bed
The of my spoon
across the bottom of an empty bowl
The sound of my heart
aching in an empty life

Relief now
the bark of a lone dog
a single air conditioner starts
a tire squeals
Relief now that the quiet is gone

(but the emptiness...)

as i stand here alone
the earth falling away
i begin to panic and fret
where will, how will i
stand with nothing beneath me
the last bit of ground
crumbles beneath
i throw my arms wide
and surrender to you
O Lord, you sustain me
when all has been swept away

like a lone tree i stand
while the storm gathers around
the wind, wild, wicked
lightening flashes
closer and closer
Hail pours down
crushing everything in its path
i throw my arms wide
and surrender to you
O Lord, you sustain me
when all around is chaos

floating alone
in craft rapidly sinking
the waves gather force
threatening and sinister
pushed by the unseen hand of the tide
sharks, barracuda, jellyfish, and worms
wait below
slowly i stand, unsteady
i throw my arms wide
and surrender to you
O Lord, you sustain me
when all threatens to rip me apart

You, o merciful God
my rock
my refuge
my strong tower
You O Lord,
You sustain me
You sustain me