I came across a flea
And his name was Tim
I said to him,
Oh Tim,
Where have you been?
"From the head to
The tail
To the neck to
The toes
I've seen it all
I've lived it all"
And what, said I
To my new friend
Tim,
Was it that you did
Learn?
Well, said Tim,
With a sly little grin,
I have learned
But one lesson
In this life of mine.
Pray tell, Tim, pray tell.
Tis this then that I've learned:
That life, she is a bitch
She is a real bitch, said Tim.

Some day I'll see why I've come this way. At least that's my hope. I have these thoughts that float through the air, some gel, others do not. A lot like what others experience, I am sure. Looking around now though, all I can see is the soothing blue. A fine shade of light blue that says, " hey man, just relax, it's all gonna be ok." And who can argue with that? I sometimes hear the calling of the loons, oddly peaceful the way it echoes around me. They call to me and remind me of times past, and maybe even times ahead. The air is crisp, but not too cold. And I can smell dinner in the air. Tonight, I think it's gonna be fried fish. I love fried fish...little bit of good for ya, little bit of bad. The trees are swaying in the evening wind, I think it's gonna rain. The loons call out again, and I'm sure, tonight a storm is brewing. I think I will just relax a bit before the storm , enjoy my evening, and wait for the nurse to loosen my straight jacket so I can eat. Then I think I'll let the storm out....

Day 1

The future is as dark
As my heart feels
Hope has no chance
In a home with no romance

Day 2

Fear is my life
And fear surrounds me
Afraid is how I live
And afraid is how I'll die

Day 4

Unlucky in love
Unlucky in life
But I've met a new mistress
And her name is strife

Day 7

You think she's got a nice body
But you really love her eyes
You have absolutely no chance
But you keep telling yourself these lies

Day 12

Icarus fell hard to the Earth
And finally he realized
The mistake he'd made
.....

You should've left me long ago
Worthless troglodyte that I am
Fuck up, foul up, selfish sot
You shoulda dumped long ago

You were right to leave me
Dysthymic worm that I am
Lazy, crazy, foolish child
You were right to can my sorry ass

You made one mistake
My lovely, bright young girl
Wholesome, quick, beautiful soul
You made but one mistake....

You said yes.

I tied myself to the whipping post
I've knotted the cat tails
Waiting now for the ripping bite
I so deserve

I've dug the pit as deep as I can
I've planted the sharpened stakes
Teetering on the edge for the fall
I so richly deserve

I've sharpened the skimming knives
I've laid down at your table
Waiting for the reckless cuts
I so very much deserve

I claimed you as my stronghold
I said you were my salvation
(And you are)
But I've run so far
I feel the lonliness
I alone deserve.

Why am I such a fuck up
Why am I such a fool
Why have I wasted my life
Worrying about you

Caught up in every whim
Every grimace and groan
I've taken all you have given
All the derision you have sown

You told me you loved me
You told me you cared
You told me so many lies
I should've been spared

Am I through with you yet
Have I learned to let go
Sadly, I cannot
Pathetically, I still love you so

I'm glad I don't own a gun
'Cause I'd dirty it straight away
Shiny bullets of copper and brass
I'd color them with red and grey
With flecks of white for an extra kick
Well, at least one

A smoky haze to filter the light
Of the eyes once bright
Now fading into that night

I'd laugh and I'd scream
With unintentional rhymes
Stomping my feet
To keep the time

I'd lay there the victim
Or walk out the fool
I'll let you decide
Which one is who.